A lovely lady booked a boudoir shoot with us back in August & journaled her whole experience. After it was complete, she sent me a copy of the journal & I asked her if I could share it because I knew it’d be awesome for everyone to hear what doing a shoot with us is like directly from a client & she said yes!! NOTE: She wants to keep most of her photos off my website so they’re not in this article. 🙂
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I’ve wanted to do a boudoir shoot for a while, but was…you guessed it…insecure. I like the way I look in person, but cringe when I see myself in pictures. Isn’t it weird how your view changes when you see yourself in 2D? I came across Beautiful You Studios and loved how the photographer, Candace, described what her version of a boudoir photo shoot is (very classy and tasteful – to celebrate the female form at all weights and stages in their life). After talking to her on the phone, I decided to bite the bullet and do it. I’m not getting any younger, I could surprise my hubby with the shoot for our 18th wedding anniversary in September…win/win.
At first, I was excited. I’ve never had my hair and makeup done professionally. And Candace (the model/photographer) assured me she would help me with poses, etc that would be flattering. She even sent me a lingerie guide with suggestions and ideas for what to wear.
By day 2, I started to panic. What do I wear? Where do I shop? I started really noticing the things I don’t like about myself… My flabby rear and thighs that look like they’ve been pelted with gravel! I text a few lingerie pictures to Candace for confirmation. She responded immediately and I decided that I would send her photos every day over the next two weeks to get her input. But then I realized I was being silly. I told myself I wasn’t going to second guess or seek approval for every decision for this shoot. Nothing is perfect – something will go wrong. So at that point, I decided I would bring outfits I liked and Candace could help me decide what would and wouldn’t look good in a photograph. So breath……
One week before the shoot I decided it was the perfect time to get Botox and filler again. I’ve had them both before, but it had been over a year for Botox and almost 2 years for fillers. My plastic surgeon gave me the injections back then with no issues. Since he relocated, I decided to use my dermatologist who’s closer…..No problem, right? Wrong! This time, big bruises formed under my eyes. To say I was freaking out was an understatement. I was icing my eyes and reading internet articles about healing bruises faster. My hubby kept saying, “Just give it time. It will be gone in two weeks.” Let me remind you that hubby doesn’t know about this photo shoot. Once I realized that the bruising was going to get worse, I took a selfie and sent it to Candace. She was so sweet and reassured me that her makeup artist and her Photoshop skills would take care of it and to not worry. Again, breath…..
The Friday before the shoot, I was rushing around the house like a mad woman. I did laundry, cooked a huge meal, prepped breakfast tacos for the week, took hubby’s clothes to the cleaners, changed the sheets on the bed, dusted the house, tanned, etc. When hubby got home, he laughed and said, “Are you sure you aren’t pregnant? It feels like you’re nesting.” We both chuckled and I said, “If I’m pregnant, we need to contact the doctor and ask her what she actually took out during my hysterectomy!” Ha! Ha! But I wanted everything in order before the shoot. I even packed my clothes in the car on Friday so hubby wouldn’t be suspicious when I left on Saturday.
The day of the shoot rolled around & I took my time in the shower and getting ready. Hair shampooed, check. Legs shaved, check. Moisturized body, check. I then met Candace’s artist Zeni for hair & makeup – she was so sweet. I didn’t have any idea what look I wanted and was reassured that sometimes no expectations is the best. She beautifully covered up my bruises and dolled me up with makeup. Candace had warned me that I would feel like I have way too much makeup on and boy she wasn’t kidding. But I’m trusting the process. I did learn during the makeup session that I need to “up my game” and add a little more pizzazz to my makeup routine. But I also thought it sure was a lot of work and time to look like a million bucks! I also loved what Zeni did to my hair. Soft curls. So much more than what I do by just curling the ends. I didn’t exactly look like myself, but I looked so glamourous!
Once it was time for the shoot to begin, I showed Candace the outfits I brought and we did a headshot first. I was really happy that Candace includes headshots with her boudoir sessions because I wanted a new headshot for Linkedin since I’m looking at making some changes in my life. When I put on the black dress and heels (not sure why I needed heels for a headshot), I felt so powerful. I looked at the full length mirror and felt like a glamorous, confident CEO. That this person has her s*#* together. I knew at that point, I would wear the dress at an upcoming event. Not wanting to get bogged down with a head shot at a boudoir shoot, we quickly moved to the next outfit.
The next outfit was a silver studded, black leather vest and skirt. I even wore my black over-the-knee boots. It was edgier than what Candace typically had in her soft & feminine studio, so it took a little bit for her to figure out where to shoot it. We ended up photographing it in front of a gray wall. After she took a couple of shots, she turned the camera around and showed me. What’s the first thing we do when we look at pictures of ourselves? Focus in on the things we don’t like. I think Candace saw the concern on my face and knew just what to do. She changed the angles and created some super sexy poses that generated some amazing photos.
One thing I was concerned about when Candace was showing me sneak peaks of the photos throughout the shoot was my makeup. Even though it was beautiful, I still felt like it looked too heavy. Given that I’m not a huge makeup person, I voiced my concern. Candace reassured me that the makeup looks heavier on her camera than when it’s downloaded to her computer. She also told me that she can soften the image during the Photoshop/touch up process. Again, I’m trusting the process.
The next outfit was a black and royal blue bra and panty set. I really liked it, but it needed something. Luckily, I brought a black shirt. I was hoping it would look great since I fell in love with it when I tried it on at The Velvet Box. Candace even did a few “booty” shots. I was sure it wouldn’t turn out very good, but who knows, I might be surprised. Anyway, I will try anything once.
About midway through the shoot, I realized I’m not a model. I can’t do a sultry look and even just closing my eyes and opening my mouth in a sexy way is just not in my DNA. I still chuckle thinking about Candace trying to get me in a certain pose… “Move your knee just a little. Arch your back. Point your toes. Look over your shoulder. Put your arm here. Close your eyes. Part your lips.” And she knows if something doesn’t work because a few times she said, “Let’s just move on.” Neither she nor I were ever discouraged because through it all, she got some great shots.
The next outfit was a gold lace romper. It was cute, but “the girls” kept popping out. It wasn’t embarrassing at all because Candace makes you feel so comfortable. She would tell me if they were not covered up so I could adjust the outfit. In this outfit, she did a lot of shots in a wicker swing. I’m sure it will be cute, but all I’m thinking is my fat is pushing out through the wicker. Again, focusing on the negative…..this has to stop!
Last outfit was a pink/gray floral chemise. I think it will go beautifully with her blue velvet couch. We were at the end of the two hour session and I was getting tired. I couldn’t think of another pose I could possibly do, but Candace wanted to continue. She kept working with the angles and poses and then asked me to do a simple pose of crossing my legs casually on the sofa. Flipped the camera around and bam! There was a beautiful photo!
Even though I was tired, those two hours passed in the blink of an eye and it was time to leave. I packed up my stuff and thanked Candace for the shoot. When I got home, I was hoping that my husband was upstairs in his office, but he was watching football in the living room. He asked what I bought since I was lugging a couple of bags. I told him I didn’t buy anything. He then asked, “What’s in the bags?” I decided I needed to come clean. “I was at a boudoir shoot. I wanted to do this for you for our anniversary.” The look of surprise on his face was priceless. Realizing what I had just said, the first thing hubby asked was, “you didn’t show your bits and posed naked…did you?” Of course I didn’t. I said that there was nothing that he or I would be ashamed of. Would they be sexy? Yes. But they aren’t X rated. I would be able to hold my head high because I knew they would be tasteful.
To ease hubby’s mind about the shoot, I put on a bra and panty set that we didn’t use in the shoot to give him an example of what I was wearing. I could tell it made him feel better about the situation and got his approval. But what man doesn’t like looking at his woman in lingerie?
Hubby complimented me on the makeup and hair. He kept telling me how pretty I looked. Even though the makeup was a little heavy for my taste, I threw around the idea of going out, but what I didn’t expect was how tired I had become. I guess the rush of adrenaline and euphoria of the photo shoot was wearing off.
I decided to wash my face and snuggled with my hubby in the living room watching Netflix. I was asleep on the couch around 8:00pm. I slept like a rock that night. Modeling is hard work!!!! I applaud all the models who do this for a living. I never put much thought into it and assumed it was easy, but it’s not.
Monday, I received an email from Candace to schedule a viewing appointment. Now I’m starting to worry. I knew the photos would be beautiful, but would I be beautiful in my eyes? Would I be disappointed, not in the pictures, but of myself? Well, I wasn’t backing out now. The worst case scenario would be not buying any photos. If that happened, I would start a workout routine to firm up my jiggly parts and do it again next year…or maybe before I turn 50.
Candace also e-mailed me the investment guide. She’d told me what her collections started at on the phone, but I had a bit of sticker shock once I realized I would probably spend more than I had planned. But I can relate because I decorate cookies as a hobby & it’s the same thing…there’s so much time put into planning, baking, decorating, designing and packaging that custom cookies are expensive. There are people who will pay for quality. Considering how much time and energy Candace puts into these pictures, I understood her pricing. But I knew I would need to talk to my husband about this before I looked at the pictures on Wednesday. I told him what I was thinking I would spend and also said that I would only buy them if I absolutely loved them.
Wednesday night rolled around and Candace didn’t disappoint. We looked at well over 100 photos and I know there had to be so many more that she didn’t show me (because not every picture is a keeper and we weren’t going to waste time looking at photos I wouldn’t want – so smart!). To say I was in awe is an understatement. The pictures were just stunning. I didn’t cry, but I think the shock prevented the tears from flowing. I asked Candace which pictures she had Photoshopped. She told me that she didn’t do that until orders are placed, so everything I was looking at was in my natural state! That taught me that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, that my body doesn’t look as bad as what I think it looks like in my head.
Candace helped me do a first round selection. Even if I thought it was a “maybe,” she put it in the “yes” pile. The second round was comparing the selected “yes” pictures. If there were poses that were very similar, she would put them together side by side. It made it very easy to choose.
I wanted ALL the photos, but I also wanted to stay married, so we were able to narrow it down to 21 beautiful shots. I thought about just buying the digital images and doing a photobook or canvas on my own, but the albums Candace offers scream classy and luxurious. I also knew I wouldn’t know how to lay out the pictures in the book and also, these are a gift to my husband and myself. I will probably never do another boudoir shoot and I wanted something that would last, something we could look at when we are 80 and go, “Damn! You/I were/was hot!” Her albums are an investment worth every penny!
For the rest of the evening, I had a very euphoric, dream-like feeling that kept a smile on my face all night long. I couldn’t believe those pictures were of me. To tell myself, “I’m beautiful” & actually believe it!!!! That’s a feeling that’s new to me. Yes, my husband tells me I’m beautiful all the time. And don’t forget Mom…Moms always say their daughters are beautiful. Even though I know they mean it when they say it, feeling it…believing it…is totally different.
A week and a half passed, and I received notification from Candace that the images were Photoshop ready and she wanted final approval before she ordered the book. I kept scrolling through them over and over. Again, in awe that these photos are of ME! Candace was so right about the makeup. It was a little more than my everyday application, but it was me.
While I was looking at the photos, hubby walked in. I told him that I have the images of the shoot. He said, “We have six more days before our anniversary and I want to be surprised.” I did show him my headshot (since it won’t be in the boudoir album) and he said, “You look like a model! Send me that photo. I’m going to show you off!” Made my heart swell.
So what has this boudoir shoot taught me? TO LOVE MYSELF!!!! Just like the camera, we can be viewed from many angles…some are flattering and some aren’t. Don’t like what you see? Just change the angle and approach it differently. You know who you are deep down. Own it! Don’t let anyone make you think you’re not fabulous!!!
I have also “upped” my makeup game. I’ve taken some lessons at Sephora to go to the next step. I’m still working on false lashes. I also just ordered the magnetic lashes Candace recommends in her Facebook group. Maybe I will do better with the magnetic liner. I’m not doing this because I feel that I need makeup to be beautiful, but to enhance what I do have. Something as simple as lipstick can change how you feel. I’m the last person who would think that, but it’s true!!! My boss this week asked me what I’m doing different. He said that I look different, but couldn’t put a finger on what it is. I asked if the difference was good or bad. He said it was good, that my eyes look brighter. I told my boss (who’s my father’s age) that I’m playing with makeup. So it was nice to hear that these little improvements are not a drastic change but enough to stand out.
I’m so grateful to Candace and Zeni for helping me with this journey, & I’m also blessed beyond belief that my husband saw the importance of me walking this path. Once the album came in, he loved it so much that he asked if it could be a coffee table book…ha! He was very impressed with how sexy & classy the pictures are and kept going through the pages over and over. Thank you, Beautiful You Studios, you are AMAZING!!
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